…. the bitch is back.

& I brought a lil guy with me to say hello:

He’s 3 months old already (today)! Can hardly believe how fast these months have gone.

Adam is such a sweet baby and a true blessing! The kids all love having their lil brother here and mommy’s really happy to have her body and hormones back. lol Nothing like pregnant cankles. wooowieeee! that’s a sexy look!

Think I’m going to take it slow with getting back into this whole blog thing. I have some major babybrain going on and not that I was always articulate in the first place, it would be nice to be able to put some thoughts into complete sentences! It’s amazing how quickly one can go from managing a team of people and a family, to talking in sentences such as “Take baby. Puked on chest.”

derrrrrrr….

ahh well, could be worse.. I haven’t quite hit the Dubya level of speak.

yet.

ps: if you ask nicely, I have a link to more family photos (including wedding and baby pics) since I don’t feel quite comfy sharing them all online here..

Karkar was a huge Barney fan as a toddler/preschooler. Every coloring book, figurine, movie.. you name it… I’m pretty sure you could find it in this house, along with his Spanish Sidekick Dora. Yes, those two managed to find a way into every single freakin’ day around here; be it placing all her toys into the dora backpack to go grocery shopping, bringing Barney to the bank (god forbid you forget him there), watching endless videos of the two either shouting in spanish (don’t try to bullshit me either, Dora yells.. alot!) or singing some mentally challenged song about stop signs with about 12 children hopped up on ritalin.

So, by now you’ve guessed that I was happy when she bypassed that Barney phase… she still likes Dora, but the purple bitch no longer was a part of our lives until yesterday.

Yesterday I ruined 2 years of peaceful bliss in my home… and my baby isn’t even born yet!

So why did I do it? what on earth would posess me to bring that dinosaur back into our lives??

..well, you see: I needed a new toothbrush.

This pregnancy has been kind of hard on my gums the past lil bit here. I mentioned it to my doctor at the last visit and she recommended that I should get a baby toothbrush. **why is it that the simple things you cannot think of yourself until someone else tells you??**

So, last night I bit the bullet and went into Wal-Mart… I bought myself and the kiddos some new flossing devices, some new toothpaste and mouthwash and looked at the baby toothbrushes. I thought they might have something like Winnie the Pooh but no, it was a choice between a wide angled Baby Einstein or a nice and petite Barney toothbrush…

I went with the burn your eyes out florescent green Barney brush. There’s another cavity I’d like to place Barney (preferably in someone elses body) but for now… he brushes my teeth.

I have to say though, last night and again this morning not seeing pink in the sink after brushing my teeth was a great sight. Like Julia Roberts famously said in Pretty Woman:

“…You shouldn’t neglect your gums!”

(it’s just… Barney?? really?? *sigh*)

It’s a BOY!!

Adam Warren is due approx. Dec 03,07

Thank God… the estrogen is finally outnumbered in this house!

(go click the sidebar pics.. he’s such a cutie!! )

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

OK, I know I haven’t been around at all.  Not even gonna fluff your pillow with the fluttery BS that assumes that people are still reading me and I have some grand apology to make… truth of the matter is… I’ve been sick and busy. -really sick, actually. We had our ultrasounds shortly after it was discovered that I had an E. Coli infection that made me well, lets just say frequent the toilet often. Our baby was fine, but mommy took a bit of a beating. Man, trying to just keep up with the kiddos we already have and protect this wee one that is yet to be was about all I could handle for a bit there. I took some time off work and rested for a number of days and then concentrated on getting well enough to the point that food was once again appealing~ an important part of pregnancy as you all know!

We had a family reunion on my dad’s side to attend over the BC day long weekend here in August, so it was a lot of fun (freakin gong show!) seeing family members I haven’t seen in years and man, did my belly get a lot of rubs; encouragement to grow, they all said. I was “too tiny” for carrying a boy. Trust me, some of the men in my dad’s family are built like tanks mkay. I’m freakin happy to be tiny, personally. Alas, all my aunts took it upon themselves to stuff me like a Christmas turkey that weekend though.

 Amazing food!! Life doesn’t get any better then a potluck when you’re pregnant! My favorite though, was my Auntie Jane’s Chili. mmmm, now I want chili. *anywhoo*   I regained my full appetite and ability to retain food by monday though ~after about a month of this crap~ and started eating and eating.

Now, I look like a pregnant woman and people are finally looking at me and asking when my due date is instead of the “is she pregnant or just letting herself go” eyeball. The only thing that sucks about this sudden “pop” is the waddle that comes along with my new belly until I adjust to it again. The girls at work love to grin and tease me about my penguin walk… can’t wait until one of them is pregnant so I can point and say “not much fun now, is it?”

Oh hey, completely unrelated but I figured out why my camera won’t upload pictures- you know, for my bellyview page. It’s not the software, but the camera itself, so I need to take the memory card out and find some way to get the pictures off of there to a disc or something… like I have the time or brains for crap like that right now.

Guess that means I also need to buy a new camera– dammit.  ~not like the crib, stroller, change table and oodles of cute lil boy clothes aren’t expensive enough! (but so worth every penny!)

maybe I’ll just ask everyone for a Source giftcard for my birthday this year instead of prezzies and all that stuff I honestly don’t need and sometimes feel uncomfortable accepting. Is that rude to ask for a specific gift, especially a gift card where it’s known how much they spent on you? I’ve always wondered about that. Where’s miss manners when you need her hey?

…. pregnant pause….

………………………………..memory lapse……………..

………..and then this Gem………..

During pregnancy, it seems there are two types of women:

those who would rather not admit they had sex in the first place to you know.. Make the baby! and abstain as much as possible until their hubby’s blue balls are about to fall off (did I just seriously say that?) or his wrist cannot stand the constant self-pleasuring and he’s developed carpal tunnel syndrome.

And those who cannot wait to tear their man’s clothes off as soon as he comes home. She’s most likely already had some quality alone time during the day but now needs a lil (read big) something more.

I’m of the latter breed.

Oh, how I wish that Wenchy (nocturnal wench on the sidebar) didn’t have a password sometimes on her site. She just wrote the most hilarious entry about pregnancy and sex. Which I have to say, I am enjoying more then usual-> if that’s even freakin’ possible!! haha I won’t embarrass Tom and spill all the beans (yes, I know thats what this site is entitled but still there’s somethings best kept between the two of us) but all I have to say is “rrrrrrrrooow! Yeah Baby!!!”

Yes, I’m enjoying this pregnancy and everything that comes with it….

but I also miss the time when I can snuggle right into my honey’s arms and not have to gasp, slowly wiggle and fidget my way into a cuddle in the middle of the night. Only to get immediately booted from Adam to the point that I have to roll back over to the side where I started from. *sigh*

I also miss peeing normally. You know what I mean girls.

And my ankles. God, I used to have sexy ankles. Maybe I should be thankful that I don’t have that UberSexy ninety-five year old elephant ankle look going on yet, but there comes a time even at five months along, when a girl just wants to wear shoes (read High heels) and look fabulously sexy- not scary.

There are days I feel more like a drag queen faking pregnancy then a beauty queen, lemme tell ya!

… but then I think of our future Manchester United player growing inside of me and well, it has to be worth it right?

maybe I can use this as bribery with him down the road. It might come in handy when I need him to mow the lawn to remind him of the “torture it was to bring him into this world”

or something like that.

Well, this has gone on long enough. Just glad to be back up and writing again it’s funny how it’s always the lil things you miss the most.

 

 

My 6 year old is full of valuable information… here’s two such moments from today alone….

at lunch:

(her) Heaven Must be Boring
(me) Why’s that?
(her) Well, there’s all those crosses and nothing to do.

I think she got heaven and a graveyard mixed up.

While watching ‘finding nemo’ at the scene where Dori talks to the whale…

(brother) I think it’s a humpback whale
(her) No, it’s a sperm whale.
(brother) Maybe
(her) know how I know it’s a sperm whale?
::Mom’s ears perk up::
(her) It has fuzzy teeth and smells funny.

Mom starts laughing, brother & sister look at me confused.. Kar is rather proud of herself.

Love it.

… my family is crazy.

Add a holiday to the mix and we’re certifiable.

I think I’m done with this weekend, now bring on the chocolate.

Oh, and I burned my hand during the hooplah of preparing easter luncheon. My mom and sister were squabbling and in my frustration and trying to stay out of the way, I was doing dishes and cleaning up after all the preparation. Anyway, I didn’t realize that one lid mom had just taken out of the oven and I grabbed it by the handle in a hurry to wipe the stovetop down under it. I couldn’t scream, no sound came out of my mouth… my eyes just went wide and I put the lid down and then burst into tears. I now have this really cool looking circle burn on my left hand and my son teasing me sayin’ I’m a crybaby… nice.

Hey, at least it made my family stop fighting for a bit when they all came to help me out. Gah, typing is interesting now too… loads of fun.

 What I wouldn’t give for a glass of wine right about now. If only….

With all the buzz about the ever-PSYCHO Brittany Sphears, I thought I’d join the fad of all the girls living in LA and shave. But, I didn’t pay $200 to get my head buzzed at the same salon as she.. nope, I sat my fat ass down in the tub and did it myself… to my legs… with a razor. Yeah. Eat your hearts out bitches.

And get this, No cuts.. just UberSmoothness baby..

 All I have to say to that woman is— What are you thinking????!!!??? If you’re going to lob your locks, at least do it to draw attention and raise funds for something like Oh, I dunno…. Cancer. At least then the entire world wouldn’t think you’re so crazy and perhaps some good could come out of the money your hair is going to make for some lucky SOB’s on ebay. Rumor has it she already is sportin’ some tacky wig. haha.. what a dolt.

Anyway, lets move on to more important things, like me…… (wha?…)

Well, Tom survived meeting the folks for all who were lighting a candle and sayin a prayer for the poor man. It went well actually, but like typical things around here, there was a lil drama involved.

It started actually in Chicago, like many stories…. in a snowstorm. He managed to get into O’Hare, and minutes turned to hours as we watched his 1st connecting flight push back further and further until we realized there was no way he was going to catch his 2nd connecting flight to bring him here that night. Luck was on our side though and we started to think of alternative ways and wouldn’t you know it, there was one flight leaving to Seattle-within moments of our discovering the flight- so he flew (hehe) to catch that one, and then we found him one that connected him into the valley that evening. Well, he arrived that night, much later then expected and although he had every right to be a lil grumpy,  know what he said to me?

“As soon as I saw you, it made it all worthwhile.” (awww)

After a bit of a drive back to my lil city and showing him some of the different places in the area, we eventually made it back to the hotel that night, or should I say morning. I think it was somewhere round 1am. We had a really nice suite too, adorned with a fireplace, jacuzzi and kingsize bed. I made a joke that the tub was big enough to be a pool for the kids, and so on Thursday we brought them over and that’s exactly what it became… a personal pool for them to sit in and watch Happy Feet

of course first was the hard part earlier in the day… taking my lil boo to the health unit for her shots. It was heart-wrenching when she cried and immediately after the needle she just wanted cuddles… from Tom. Mommy was dirt for being the meanie who had to hold her, but I so appreciate that he was there for her too. She needed that. He spent some time just cuddling her and telling her what we had in store for her next for being such a big girl.. hot chocolate from mommys work and a Barbie. Well, to a five year old- Thats like telling her she’s queen for the day. - lil cutie. 

~*~

Soooooo….

 how was everyone’s V-Day?

We had an amazing day. We took the kids out bowling and for pizza before they went for ice cream with their dad, both Tom and Jillibean wrote cards that made my lip quiver and then later in the evening we went out for a romantic evening just the two of us. Dinner was amazing and Tom surprised me with this beautiful necklace….

Saphire (my birthstone, which he remembered so bonus points!), diamonds and silver. He spoils me.

…  I like that it’s silver too as it matches my ring that he gave me in Spokane.

It’s a Claddagh ring. Go ahead, I’ll wait till you google it. You know you wanna… Oh wait, here.. just click THIS it just makes things easy   Our server that evening was surprised when she found out where he was from and of course asked how we met and she loved our story.. “Hey, when you know you know, right?” she said. And yeah, it’s always just been that simple between us. It’s so nice when you find that friend, that person you just know is going to be a part of your life and there isn’t a list of “but what if’s..” that instantly pop into your head. I never thought it could be that easy. Never. But, now I know… sometimes, it just is.

My parents like him, they like who I am when I’m with him too. With my ex(s), I was always so nervous with the two of them. My parents  saw it but didn’t say anything about it. I was always trying to make sure that everything went off without a hitch. The kids had to be well behaved for him, the conversation had to flow between everyone and I fluttered trying to make sure that happened. Everything had to be a certain way.. with Tom, I’m relaxed. The convo’s came on their own, so did the laughs and memories shared, the kids behaved as they should have… like kids. They had moments but they were really good too they listen to him too, I noticed that at dinner. After we finished eating they were a little restless and started playing. Just one simple, gentle reminder from Tom and they came back to the table, well behaved and ready to leave. I think my parents just need time to adjust to the fact that I’m dating an American but otherwise, I think finally meeting him let them see who he is, and how we are and you know, they’re happy too. My mom, of course,  had a number of questions and he really stepped up and answered them. I love how in moments that I’m weak and don’t have the words, he steps up speaks for both of us. “Great minds…” we always say.

~*~

Taking him back to the airport came too soon & the goodbyes inbetween visits are getting harder….

We kept KJ home from school so that she could come with us to the airport. After saying our goodbyes I took her to the area where we could watch his flight depart. We watched the airplane take off, and she stood at the window in front of me, her hand outstretched against the glass and following the plane down the runway. She sighed. My heart felt heavy and so I sighed too. “I miss’im aweady” she says to me and turns around for a hug. It was really hard not to cry- you instantly step into your big girl pants for the sake of your kidlets- but I felt the same. The other two have expressed that as well. To both me, and even to him on the phone.

Only a few more weeks… and then we meet his son as well.  A few weeks.

We can do this.  … right?

We heard that a lot this weekend for some reason.

It kinda started with the border guard with an ego complex (no seriously, this guy was a total dick) as I crossed into the States and everywhere we went and met people, they’d say where you from? Usually Tom would respond first and people always did a double take…

“What are you doing here? In Spokane?? In February!?!”

hahaha

The trip down was long and I learned an important lesson.. old men running gas stations in Omak know nothing about their state. Dick all. Bunch of Children of the corn they are.. my god. I stopped for directions after drooling on my steering wheel taking a nap for a bit after crossing the border because I worked earlier the same day, and he sent me an hour and a bit out of my way from the nearest junction… what a tard. Of course, because I was totally pms’ing  slightly annoyed by this, it started to snow….

of course.

 it’s so much fun (I’m totally lying), driving thru parts of a country that seriously resemble where horror movies are shot.. and its snowing.

No, I’m serious about the horror movie part. I totally expected some freaky ass farmer with a pegleg and fish-hook arm to just jump in front of my car and I’d be all freakin out like some big boob’d chick you just know is gonna get axed in *insert random b-rated horror flick*

so as you guessed, after deciding that I do not like Washington State at all, I arrived safe and sound and then went about the process of trying to figure out Spokane with no thanks at all to the locals. No offense, but now I see why you guys have such lax gun control… just trying to get some friggin service at TacoBell really pissed me off… and I’m not someone who gets pissed off so easily. mkay. Yo cuiro TacoStupid!!! (and I don’t care if I spelled that wrong)

We had an amazing time this weekend and I’m not one to kiss and tell so sorry kiddos you can leave that part up to your imagination but if your thinking *that* and that **thing** with the **yeah**… it was even better!

Oh speaking of things better then you ever imagined.

We saw Dreamgirls while we were down there too. Oh My god!!!!! I cried and cried during that movie I was so taken in by that movie. Jennifer Hudson is a Goddess!!!!!! Her voice is so astounding and she’s quite the presence on the screen as well. Eddie Murphy, well.. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him play such a role. Jamie Foxx as always proved that he is a brilliant actor. But that voice… oh my god… at one point I whispered to tom “baby, I have no kleenex” because I was caught unexpected by this movie and didn’t think I’d be bawling like a Bears fan. (yeah, we watched a movie instead of the game… I have a good man, no?)  Oh yeah and Beyonce was in this one too. She was alright. Better then that crap she pulled off as acting in Pink Panther but not quite Austin Powers… but that there’s some funny shit!!! Minime in a carseat. hehe.

Oh, and did I mention, Jennifer Hudson?

Yeah, I liked that movie. I’ll be buying that one when it comes out on DVD.

Well, this past week has been rather uneventful since coming back.. I put some highlights in my hair, worked, made a decision about quiting one of my jobs and have dealt with sick kids. Tom is here next week too.. can’t wait to see him again and this is one of those “meet the fam” kinda deals. Poor guy. Doesn’t really know what he’s getting himself into here (and yes, I know you’re reading this lol) So, I doubt I’ll come on to blog much.. but then again, I may have lots to tell.

So tell me, whats new with you??? make it up if you must but tell me some dramarama!!

 

boooyaaaah, Bitches!!! Early spring is coming!

Do you know how freakin happy this makes me? Spring means skirts every day, cute hats sunglasses and…. the holy grail in the valley: flipflops!

*insert glorious rays of golden sunshine on a shoe*

whoa, where did that come from? moving along….

Now, I love Canada. I’m a proud citizen and although there are some draws to moving and becoming a ‘merican, there’s also a number of fears. There is however a dark spot for our country. One that I’m confused and ashamed to admit almost…

wanna hear it?

well duh, of course you do.

See, y’all ‘Mercans (thats how it sounds like you pronounce it) only need to have one groundhog. He croaks, you pick out another rat, slap a hat on him and call him Phil.

Up here, your friendly cuter neighbours to the north sadly feel the need to validate and revalidate the initial diagnosis.. thats right. We have three, THREE(!?!) fucking groundhogs. It’s like any faction of government in this country. First you have the official ruling, and then a g’damn commitee is formed to Concur.

Great logic, no?  Oooo us silly Canadians with our funny money and all! Oh hey,

riddle me this, speaking of Canadian Money:

 If I have a red bill, purple bill, a blue bill, one ship, 2 loons, 4 polar bears, 5 caribou and 3 beavers in my hand, how much do I have in Canadian dollars?

The pic here? Dude, you have to be up on your Heather McCartney issues to follow.

Anyway, just my thoughts on the matter.  All four (relax Phil, I gotcha covered in here too) of the chubby lil fellers did not, I repeat Did NOT see a shadow today so we’re good. mmmmmm can you feel it my friends? the warming sunshine, the thawing snow.. the chocolate laying rabbits. What more can a girl ask for?

Aside from tomorrow that is….. cue broadway music and Mel walks off singing:

The sun’ll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There’ll be sun!

Just thinkin’ about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
‘Til there’s none!

When I’m stuck a day
That’s gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh!

The sun’ll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
‘Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow!
You’re always
A day
A way!

If I was Troy at Pink Is the New Blog, I would so have a lil bubble on this guy sayin “You’re singing sucks Bitches! Hollah!!

K, anywhooo happy weird North American custom day everyone! Have a great weekend, we’re off to Spokane. (woowoo)

 

My baby whispers in my ear
Mm, Mm, sweet nothings
He knows the things I like to hear
Mm, Mm, sweet nothings

Things he wouldn’t tell nobody else
Secrets, baby
I keep them to myself
Sweet nothings Mm, Mm sweet nothings

We walk along hand in hand
Mm, Mm, sweet nothings
Yeah, we both understand
Mm, Mm, sweet nothings
He certainly takes
The time to read my book
My baby, give me that special look
Sweet nothings Mm, Mm, sweet nothings

I’m sitting on my front porch
Mm, Mm sweet nothings
Well, do I love you? Of course
Mm, Mm, sweet nothings
Mama turned on the front porch light
And said “Come in darling
That’s enough for tonight”
Sweet nothings
Mm, Mm, sweet nothings
Sweet nothings
Mm, Mm, sweet nothings
Sweet nothings

~*~

I lost partial hearing in my left ear as a lil girl who kept getting ear infection after ear infection. I’ve been told since I was 16 that I would probably need a hearing aid by the time I neared my 30’s and well, the idea of being OLD before my time is a bit of a turn off but- promise you won’t tell anyone?

I think “they” might be right.

hahaha I can’t believe I’m admitting this but..

one morning, Tom whispered sweet nothings into my ear and instead of a romantic notion he received an odd response.

“Did you just say ‘darn you’?”

“What?”

me turning to look at him… slightly unimpressed with what I uhh “heard” but still snickering to myself that he said darn…

“No, seriously what did you just say?”

he responds with a puzzled look on his face,

” uhm, I just said “I adore you”, why?”

“oh.” *laughter* “thats not what I heard!”

I explain and we both start laughing. Of course, being the comedian that he is.. he had some funny one-liners to go along with but I, being the spazz, can’t remember them.

So there you have it. Guess I better brush up on my sign language- erm, beyond an extended middle finger salute that is.

yeah, ~Laugh it up!~ 

Awww c’mon I betcha you guys mishear things all the time!… right? …right?!?

// insert sound of crickets//

well to my friggin deaf ears they sound like crickets. Could be a g’damn grasshopper for all I know!

*sigh*

 

you make us laugh.

Seriously, we’re a jovial nation. I mean look at who we have as a Prime Minister *oooh snap!* Stephen “Zombie Dork” Harper. Wow, I mean he’s unliving proof we Canadians have a great sense of humor.

………

During our time in Calgary, Tom and I went for a lovely brunch atop the Calgary tower on Sunday. It was a beautiful day and we took in the Sights of the city as it twirled past in the revolving restaurant (every 45 minutes our waiter informed us, pending on the speed. *woah* wait a minute, pending on the speed??? my devious mind wants to know how fast we could really get that baby spinning. I was the type of child who hung upside down from the bars on the merry go round as the older children did their damndest to knock me off. Spinning in circles makes me happy. – it’s the simple things really. Anyway, I digress….)

At one point he asked me, uhm that would be Tom- not the waiter,  he asked me where they did the downhill ski events when Calgary played host to the world Olympics in 1988. I told him about the Ski jump they constructed, and I think we talked about Banff as well.. as we spun closer to it, I pointed out the enourmous jump you could see at the edge of the City’s Skyline in the south. Mind you from up there it kinda looked like a miniature slide one might put in a model of a housing development they were building. Hmmm, maybe we should have gone to visit it… oh well, next time.

Looking at how Calgary has progressed as a city since that time had me thinking about Vancouver and how we’ll be playing host to the world in 2010 for the winter Olympics. This is an exciting time for us as a country and a province… why, we haven’t had this much attention since Pam Anderson was discovered at a Lion’s Football game!! (or that lil show known as Expo 86) I’m so proud of my country and the roles we play in the international community and so I set up an opportunity for our fellow world citizens to email in and find out more about Canada in preperation for the Olympics and found myself mildly entertained by the hordes of questions coming in. For example:

Robert in England asks: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?

Well Robert, we import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and  watch them die.

Linda in Texas ponders: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? 

 Depends on how much you’ve been drinking Linda.

I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto -can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Sven, in Sweden ) 
Sure Sven in Sweden, it’s only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? (Anony. Sweden )

So it’s true what they say about Swedes. hehe

Roberto, from Italy says: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. Let’s not touch this one.

Are there any ATM’s (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me  a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? (England )

 What did your last slave die of?

Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? (Puggy, USA )

Oh Puggy, A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.  Ca-na-da is that big country to your North…oh forget it. Sure,  the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary . Come naked.

Which direction is North in Canada ? (Baron Ectar, USA )

Face south hun and then turn 180 degrees Contact me when you get here and I’ll send the rest of the directions.

Bev in England enquires: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ?

Why? Just use your fingers like we do. On second thought, skip the box of Kleenex as well.

Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (Lily, USA )

*sigh* silly-Lily, Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering  Ger-man-y,  which is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Calgary , straight after  the hippo races. Come naked.

Do you have perfume in Canada ? (Gretta, Germany )

No, WE don’t stink.

Mighty Dyckerson (USA) e-mailed to say: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.  Can you sell it in Canada ?

Sure thing Dyckerson Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (again, Mighty Dyck enquires.. his emails were non-stop. I only chose to answer two though)

Well Dyck, can I call you dyck? it seems appropriate given the question.  You may want to check out the Odyssey, a quaint lil place where such populus unbalance does occure.

Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? (Ben, USA )

Only at Thanksgiving, Duh.

Are there supermarkets in Vancouver and is milk available all year round? (Hanz, Germany )

No Hanz, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk  is illegal.

I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget  its name. It’s a kind of big horse with horns. (Andy, USA )

Andy, Andy, Andy… It’s called a Moose. They are tall and very violent. They roam  the city streets eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. Spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking  will scare them off.

Will I be able to speak English most places I go?(Haveev, USA )

Yes, but you will have to learn it first. It’s not unlike American- thanks Microsoft.

So there you have it. We look forward to seeing all of you in 2010!